A Serious Case of the Adoptions. Or Lack Thereof.

Well, I had a rather large monologue here for you all to bore on through. It was about the meaning of adoption and of it's impacts world wide. As I read through it, I remembered that this blog is called "The Gift". One of them I posted about was writing. So I deleted it all, thinking that I wouldn't allow myself to write this, since this wasn't some stupid prompt our dear state came up with. So here's what I really want to talk about.

My family may adopt. There's about a 7.5-2.5 chance we will, to adopting. So, once my parents cleared it with us, came the big questions: Age, gender, and background. As a pastor, my dad is limited in all three categories.

We can't get a child in the middle, that is a girl. If you want to know why, talk to your parents about that one, 'cause that's a different post. So a girl of about 9 or older is completely out. Boys on the other hand, are good of any age. Until you factor in that our house is old - if I'm not mistaken, our house was around before lead paint was a big deal. So we, of course have it. Everyone under nine? Out. That of course leaves us with either new paint, or an eight year old girl, or an eight or older year old boy. That was age or gender. This next one is the tricky bit.

Kids in the adoption programs generally are there for a reason. In fact, I do believe most of them aren't there as orphans, though I am free-styling this, so that may be off. So, some of the kids get lucky, and didn't have raving lunatics as their parents... Others do. Others have parents that if I ever met, I would probably put them in as much pain as possible. Not many would stop me, for the horrors they've committed. So, some of the kids are... Well not insane, but not all together either. So, you can have a kid who is perfectly sane, with a kid that was (...) bunking together. This is where background comes in.

Y'see, as a pastor's kid, more is expected of you than anyone else. You have to be on time (I make a point not to be), be the most well mannered (sometimes, I actually accomplish that one), and the most.... I don't know. Biblical? Someone asks you, "What is on page 394 in the King James Version?" and expect you to know it. (I flat out refuse to answer for those.)

So, a kid who is troubled may have difficulty being so close to others or actually being cared about, and so they could easily snap. A punch there, a HE WALKED ON THE GRASS there, and an oil spill there... Soon a church has had enough, and can give the pastor an ultimatum. "Get rid of him/her, or we get rid of you." And it's only natural that parents don't want their kids exposed to it. That's cool.

So that's why being the perfect age, gender, and having a good background are important for the PASTOR side of the father figure. Because past that, there's also your real family to deal with.

So in our family, there are three children. One has moved out, one will be moving out, and then there is me, who of course will be staying. So, at 25, 19, and 14, there is obviously an age difference. So, with no central age, they obviously have to start low.

As for reasons stated before hand, we have to get either an eight year old girl or an eight year old or older boy. Now, for me, that kind of rang a alarm. An eight year old girl would be twelve by the time I moved out, and that if I moved out right after high school. That's an obvious alarm bell -_-#. But other than that small little stair, or lack thereof, I'm actually pretty cool with another girl. I'd get that little sister - older brother time you don't see much anymore anyways, and... It'd be mine.

But for a boy. Hm, this may be a big one. Now, with a little brother, I could tease him. I could mess with him like you see on TV. I could destroy him in video games. But I could also teach him to wrestle. I could help him learn to play football, or to hop a fence (wait what?), or how to get the extra 1-up on that arcade Mario game ( I went from football to that?). However. Mom and dad may end up getting an older kid. One my age. And suddenly all of those older brother moments? Poof. What if the kid is more... Athletic? What if he could be the son that your dad had wanted? Imagine yourself, your dad's real son, outshone by someone your parents love, and that you think is just okay? That under your okay, you have a deep, festering hatred. Hatred for stealing your father. Hatred for stealing what should have been yours, but was stolen by that outcast... So, in case you are terminally malfunctioning, you can see I'd like either a little sister, or a little brother, at around eight of nine.



Well there you go mom. There is my honest thoughts on adoption. Just like you said.